The book adaptation of the upcoming Peanuts direct-to-DVD release Happiness is a Warm Blanket is now shipping. The DVD itself isn’t due out until next month. (But here’s a thought – order them both now, and that will put an order just over $25, thus qualifying you for free super-saver shipping.)

Now we should really consider the science that ight be learned from this whole happiness thing. We know that Happiness is a Warm Blanket, but the literature also confirms that Happiness is a Warm Puppy. To express this mathematically:

HAPPINESS = WARM PUPPY

HAPPINESS = WARM BLANKET

Therefor, we know that

WARM PUPPY = WARM BLANKET

Dividing both sides by WARM, we get

PUPPY = BLANKET

Now, the cookbooks let us know that

HOT DOG + DOUGH = PIG ‘N A BLANKET

Substituting, we find that

HOT DOG + DOUGH = PIG ‘N A PUPPY

Subtracting DOUGH from each side, we get

HOT DOG  = PIG ‘N A PUPPY – DOUGH

Divide both sides by HOT, and we get

DOG  = (PIG ‘N A PUPPY – DOUGH) / HOT

So if your kids ever want a dog, just tell them they have to put a puppy and a pig together, lose some dough, and make it all over-hot.

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